For most of our careers, we assume relationships exist because of the people involved.

Then we change jobs, retire, reorganize or simply move on and something surprising happens.

The relationships don't disappear. They just begin to fade.

People we once spoke with every day become people we haven't talked to in months. Conversations become occasional emails. Then LinkedIn likes. Then silence.

It's easy to wonder whether those relationships were ever as meaningful as we thought they were.

I don't think that's what happened.

I think we underestimate how much of our connection to other people is supported by shared context.

Think about what happens inside an organization. We share problems, deadlines, language, frustrations, victories and countless ordinary moments. We stop by someone's office after a meeting. Call because we need another perspective. Work through something difficult together. Laugh about something only the people involved would understand.

None of those moments seems particularly significant on its own.

But over years, they add up.

And somewhere along the way, colleagues become friends, trusted sounding boards, mentors and people we genuinely care about.

Then one of us leaves.

We assume the relationship will continue because the relationship was real. And it was.

What we don't always recognize is that the structure supporting it has disappeared.

There's no meeting tomorrow. No problem we both need to solve. No reason to call at 4:30 because something went sideways. Maintaining the relationship now requires us to create the connection that our shared environment used to create for us.

I've been thinking about this beyond individual relationships because I believe the same thing happens inside organizations.

We spend enormous amounts of time designing reporting structures, processes, governance and technology. But some of the most important work in an organization happens through human networks that no one formally designed.

Someone knows who to call.

Someone trusts another person's judgment.

Someone feels comfortable saying, "I don't think we're looking at this the right way."

Information moves because people talk to one another. Problems get solved because someone knows who can help. Ideas travel across boundaries because relationships already exist.

Those connections may look informal on an org chart, but they aren't incidental to how the organization works.

They're part of the infrastructure.

And that's worth paying attention to, particularly during periods of growth, restructuring or change. When we move boxes around on an organization chart or replace familiar ways of working, we may also be disrupting relationships and shared context that took years to build.

Sometimes that's necessary.

But we should at least know what we're changing.

Because an organization isn't held together only by the systems we can see.